Supermarket wisdom

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Standing in line with a jug of milk, an Archies comic, a chocolate bar. Toilet paper and ketchup. What is happening in the world today? What should I be afraid of today.

The Enquirer rages about Harry Potter being gay. The Weekly World News shocks us that Megan Fox is a man. Shock and awe. Shock and awe. Of course, it pales in comparison to the fact that the US Air-force has unveiled its very own spaceship.

The line moves slowly. Women wearing pants that are two sizes too tight and men with wrinkled up faces and feather in their caps. Maybe I stepped into the pages of peopleofwalmart.com. Surreal.

“Did you know that Kate Gosselin home-schools two of her children?”

“No. I must have missed that as I when I was giving myself a broken glass enema.”

The woman stares blankly at me, not sure if I am serious or sarcastic. The line moves, I limp forward, grimacing. She turns around with the Enquirer clutched firmly in her claws and beehive hair do.

The parking lot is full. Snow falls and melts as it hits the pavement. I take a long look at Megan Fox. Who would have ever thought that she was a man?