Home > International Opinion, News > 5 Tips for the Middle East and Sesame Street

5 Tips for the Middle East and Sesame Street

I have been writing a lot about the Middle East lately, and haven’t offered any constructive solutions. Today, I do. Enjoy my 5 Tips for the Middle East and Sesame Street!

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  1. Get rid of Elmo.After all, his cuteness is too sugary and gets the heart beating faster, like a saccharine overload, that kid’s gotta go.
  2. Have Gaddafi , Ahmadinejad and all comers get into a ring and duke it out for Allah. Whoever wins, they can set up their own little world with no help, no interference and no benefiting from the West.
  3. Give the Middle East Richard Simmons. Lord knows they could all use a little more, er… flamboyancy.
  4. Give them Might Putty. Is there anything that stuff can’t fix?
  5. Close your eyes and don’t give them any attention at all. It is the same lesson for little kids. Make a lot of noise, want attention, but when they don’t get it, they go play quietly in their rooms.

What do you think readers? Can I table this at the UN? Have more to add? Post your thoughts below!

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