Five year old moment
Memories that I do not want to die, to forget. Memories of Watrous on Main Street. Walking past the IGA, my uncle Brian finding me, telling me my dad was in the hospital. I was five and left alone. The night was not scary. Seeing dad in a hospital bed with a cast was worse. Being told after in a car outside of Dr.Heseltine’s clinic that I was moving to Saskatoon was even worse than that.
We lived in a basement suite, it was my world of make believe with a closet/pantry so long and dark, only the scariest of monsters lived there.
The Stampeders on the radio, singing about a sweet sweet city woman, but the woman I knew was right here, in Watrous, my Grandmother. My aunt. My world exploded, it shattered. The farm, my home, my aunts, my uncles. All would be lost. Even though Saskatoon was 72 miles away, little did I know that it would become true. I would lose almost everything in the later years with a price tag that was far too high
I don’t expect to tell you dear reader all what transpired in those lifetimes I lived. My confidants have learned. They are secrets for them, and for my God. They were my lifesavers. Each and everyone of them wove a chain that helped me be pulled to safety. They know who they are. Some remain nameless and some will be named from time to time, but none will be forgotten. I can’t allow it.
This was Saskatchewan. The robins that nested in grandad’s evergreen year after year. Grandad would lift me up each spring to see the eggs, then the babies. Even in my teen years, I would tip toe up to the tree and see them there in that same nest, year after year. Golden. Sun setting on the Prairie landscape. The inescapable sense of belonging, of oneness with the Earth.
Scarier dreams there have been, but almost none as so pleasant.
Forty years later, nestled in the mountains, I think back on the halcyon days. I remember the faces of my fathers and am proud. I am proud of the land that bore us and the spirit that drove us. The Prairie spirit drives us still further, into new worlds and lands. The Prairies siren call, but for now, I am home. I remember and smile as the sun sets in the west, towards the ocean, towards lands of bigger dreams.